


I’m sorry you don’t love me anymore

by StoryMaker_Echidna



Category: Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28707624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryMaker_Echidna/pseuds/StoryMaker_Echidna
Summary: I just like writing about Superman being depressed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Relationships: Clark Kent/Lois Lane
Kudos: 2





	1. I’m sorry you don’t love me anymore

I tried so hard, Lois. I tried to be what you wanted me to be.

But it didn’t work.

I wanted to be the husband who never let you down. I wanted to be the man that you could be proud of.

But I’m nothing but a failure.

I hoped you would look past that and still be able to love me for trying.

But I was wrong.

And that’s OK, maybe. I don’t blame you, Lois. I don’t blame you for rejecting me.

I didn’t give you anything to love. I didn’t give you anything to be proud of.

I’m glad you still have standards.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to become someone I’m not ashamed of. But that day is not today.

I wonder if that day will ever come. Because no matter how hard I fight, no matter how hard I try, I’m a million miles away from where I feel I should be.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to fight for anymore now that you’re gone. But who cares? I might as well keep trying even if nothing matters.

I might as well keep fighting for that ideal in my head.

Maybe someday it will become real.

But I doubt it.


	2. It’s like I don’t want to listen to myself anymore

I’ve heard it all before. All the lies, all the promises, all the dreams.

All rubbish. None of it will ever come to pass.

I wanted so much for myself and for everyone. I thought I could do it. I thought I could do anything.

I’m Superman. I’m a hero. I can do it.

But the world doesn’t care about that.

I fought hard, I worked hard. I did so much.

But nothing matters in the end. Because I’m a failure.

I let down the people who needed me the most.

I let down the people I promised to protect.

I let down my family. I let down my friends.

No one even wants to look at me anymore.

I believed so deeply that I could redeem myself. That I could make everything right.

But it’s all lies. There’s no coming back after death.

So many deaths. So many lies. So little hope.

People look at me as a symbol of hope. What a laugh. I have nothing, I am nothing. I aspired to be so much. I thought I was so much. And so did other people.

But when it really counts, I let everyone down.

I’m not a superman. I’m not really much of a man in general.


	3. I watched and waited, but he never came

I watched and waited for a hero to save the day, but he never came.

I hoped that I could rise out of the ashes, but I never did.

I thought and believed that I could be somebody, but I’m not.

Every second of my existence led up to a moment that would be the ultimate test of what kind of man I was, and I failed.

In a sense, I never stop reliving that moment. But in another way, I don’t really think about it at all.

In a way, it’s an albatross around my neck. But it’s so much a part of me that I don’t notice it anymore.

My entire perception of myself has been flipped upside down. And that goes double for the rest of the world.

I will never be able to fully absorb the deserved contempt they have for me. And that’s a good thing. Because I deserve to continue to discover new and horrible ways that I have failed.

I want myself to die. I want to be plunged into a pit of night and fury. But that would be far too easy.

I deserve to live out this life in remorse. That’s the one true hell for me. And if I’m lucky, it will last forever. So I never stop paying for my sins.

Superman is a dream that will never come true.


End file.
